People I Will Never Be Friends With

A partial list.

• Anyone who says, “Sup, bitches.”
• Women who think it’s cute to roll their eyes in pictures.
• Those who think turn signals are optional.
• People who find a way to bring Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump into any given conversation.
• Anyone who uses an anime character for a Facebook portrait.
• Guys who hate cameramen for catching criminals in action (it’s always guys).
• People who write horror stories and call it “creepypasta.” You can’t call it creepypasta if you’re writing and submitting it to a website, okay? You can only call it that if you copy it from, and paste it to an image board! Otherwise it’s just more bad horror fiction.
• Mud runners.
• Men who despise women for expecting decency from men. True, such women are idealistic, but you don’t get to despise them for it.
• People who share details of any kind about their digestive habits.
• Anyone who uses chat acronyms in everyday speech.
• A person who says “I’m on fire for God!” Well, a person who says he or she’s “on fire” for anything, really.
• Those who treat YouTube as a career option.