Not-So-Top Cartoons: Wreck-It Ralph

Something’s gone wrong in Videoland, and it’s not that Sarah Silverman found a way into it.


I don’t know what to make of Wreck-It Ralph, Disney’s 2012 niche-teaser about a video game villain who just wants to be liked, dammit. Is it a morality tale? Is it an action film? Or is it just empty-headed entertainment that’s about as satisfying as a Sugar Rush?


I’ll summarize it as best I can: there’s this arcade game called Fix-It Felix Jr., in which the player guides the friendly Felix up a building to stop the ape-like Wreck-It Ralph from busting up the place. It’s an obvious send-up of Donkey Kong, but this particular Kong is tired of getting tossed off a roof everyday. So, against the advice of his fellow bad guys, Ralph abandons his post and tries heroic deeds in other arcade games, so he can prove that he’s more than just a terrorizing thug.


Along the way, Ralph is tormented by the violence of modern games, the gooey pitfalls of a saccharine candy-land, and the specter of a former villain who “game-jumped:” the glory hog Turbo, who caused two games to go out of order.

Like Pixar’s Toy Story or the classic Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Wreck-It Ralph presents us with a strangely complex society, with many rules and expectations for its citizens. Like the toons and toys of cartoons past, Wreck-It Ralph’s video game characters exist to please and entertain humans. As such, any individual’s attempt to rise above his or her station is considered disruptive to the community, and is thus met with disapproval. The mantra of Ralph’s support group, Bad-Anon, is, “I’m bad, and that’s good. I’ll never be good, and that’s not bad. There’s no one I’d rather be than me.”


So the message of the film seems to be the stale old platitude of “be happy with whom you are,” but with the tacked-on amendment of, “so long as you remember your place.”

I take issue with this because, in the real world, criminals (or “bad guys”) who reform are to be commended. It takes real effort and work to improve oneself, to recognize the consequences of one’s actions, to learn empathy, to foster positivity. Even if the motivation is self-serving, i.e., to avoid prison or to save money or to raise a family, breaking away from a life of crime is indisputably a good thing, for both the group and the individual.

So is the constant urging for Ralph to stop his pipe dreams of heroism and just get back to breaking things really healthy?

Keep in mind that I only “take issue” with this. I’m not offended by it, and I understand that Ralph’s world has certain requirements in order to function, but the can of worms that this story opens isn’t, and cannot be, fully explored, and that’s frustrating. There are many perspectives and feelings to consider in a topic as complex as this, and a Disney cartoon just isn’t equipped to handle them all. You might say that Ralph’s writers were aiming to raise questions, to encourage its audiences to have lively discussions on the ride home from the theater. When a movie’s height of humor is a sassy little girl spewing doody jokes, however, I highly doubt that it has such lofty artistic goals.


Anyway, that’s my main beef with this film: the story feels slapped together to line up with its “Roger Rabbit in Videoland” premise. And really, that’s what Wreck-It Ralph is: an updated version of Robert Zemeckis’s masterpiece, only more niche. It references the Golden Age of Video Games, when kids actually played 8-bit games in arcades, it’s got cameos from faces such as Q-Bert, M. Bison, Sonic the Hedgehog, and Clyde, and its original characters are amalgamations of existing Disney fixtures, like Mickey Mouse and The Mad Hatter.


I actually like that last part. Fix-It Felix Jr., as played by Jack McBrayer, is basically a human Mickey Mouse. He may have been modeled after Mario, but his movements, attitude, and mannerisms are all Mickey’s. Imagine any one of his lines in Wayne Allwine’s voice and you’ll see it, I promise you. I find this idea of a postmodern update to the Mickey persona fascinating.


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Then there’s my favorite character, King Candy, who’s voiced by Ed Wynn…as impersonated by Alan Tudyk. Put a top hat on him and you’re back in Alice’s Wonderland. I actually think the King is more like Judge Doom, in that he’s an ancient, whispered evil in disguise, revealed by accident and assuming a monstrous form.


Turbo is, of course, a device meant to lead Ralph’s quest to a battle to save all of Videoland, but I guess that’s okay. The real antagonist of this film seems to be the insufferable weight of one’s peers, though I suppose that’s open to interpretation. There are things I like about this movie — the performances of John C. Reilly as Ralph and McBrayer as Felix, the occasionally irreverent tone, the fact that it has no songs — but the rest of Wreck-It Ralph is pretty forgettable. As with most Disney productions, it never goes too far in any direction, for fear of upsetting somebody. So instead we get fizzy, fuzzy harmlessness painted in sweets and sugars, to be ingested for a quick high before seeking out something more filling.

A post-script: yes, the animation is excellent, but that’s to be expected from Disney. Besides, computer-generated animation is so prevalent now, even in freaking live-action films, that its spectacle has become numbing. Had Disney been bold enough to depict Wreck-It Ralph in the pixel-art style of the games it was evoking, it might have earned a real high score from me.

ULTIMATE TOP CARTOONS #3: Who Framed Roger Rabbit

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“Eddie, I could never hurt anybody. My whole purpose in life is to make people laugh!”

Such is the tenet of the Toon, a race of beings that exist alongside humans in Robert Zemeckis’s 1988 classic Who Framed Roger Rabbit. In the alternate world it presents, toons are not just drawings put to film, they are living actors working in Hollywood studios during the Golden Age of Animation.

And they’re total theater people. You think your co-worker Doris is a drama queen? Wait ’til you get a load of the toons.

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Toons live to perform, and even when the cameras are off, they can’t resist an opportunity to pose, show off, or pull a comical gag. It is their raison d’être, and studio owner R.K. Maroon has turned this desire into big showbiz bucks.

Trouble is one of his biggest stars, Roger Rabbit, can’t keep his mind on his work lately, because of rumors that his wife, Jessica, is cheating on him. Seeking to put the issue to rest, Maroon hires Eddie Valiant, a P.I. specializing in toon cases, to snap some pics of Jessica in flagrante delicto.

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Valiant, whom Bob Hoskins infuses with a hard-boiled mix of toughness,  fury, and curiosity, has a lot of hurts. Most of them involve his brother Teddy, with whom he shared a very close bond. The Valiant boys grew up sharing three careers: first as circus clowns, then as police officers, and finally private detectives. Their unique mixture of talents brought them great success at handling toon investigations.

Then, Teddy’s murder at the hands of a particularly evil toon shattered everything. Eddie has since become a bitter drunk who is distrustful of toons, especially when their antics put humans at risk.

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One of the rules of Roger Rabbit’s world is that toon logic, while entertaining in controlled conditions, is quite hazardous when unchecked. Since toons simply can’t help themselves when it comes to dramatic showmanship (and since they come out of their own scrapes without so much as a bruise), they often endanger and harm humans inadvertently.

To wit: I love the look of horror on Valiant’s face when Donald Duck lights a cannon in a nightclub, for no other reason except to show up that uppity Cayuga who’s hogging the spotlight. Insurance rates must be sky-high in Roger Rabbit’s world.

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Anyway, Valiant follows Jessica to her moonlighting gig at this club, and photographs her in the act of playing “pattycake” with another man. The Lothario: Marvin Acme, a practical gag manufacturer and the owner of Toontown, an animated otherworld that rests next door to Hollywood.

Roger is not pleased. He vows to Valiant that he and Jessica will be happy again one day, and then smashes through a window to disappear into the night. This scene is so film-noir it’s not even funny. Actually, scratch that; it’s quite funny, but the point still stands: here we have three major film-noir archetypes, but they’re all just slightly askew. It’s a lot of fun to have a scene out of Chinatown play out with an animated rabbit at its center.

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The following morning, Valiant is awakened by his former LAPD pal Lieutenant Santino, who informs Valiant that the rabbit has “kacked” Acme by dropping a safe on his head.

Despite the painful similarities between Acme’s murder and the murder of Teddy, (the difference being that Teddy had a piano dropped on his head), the shocked Valiant can’t quite accept that Roger Rabbit could be capable of such an act. He attempts to swipe a bit of evidence from Acme’s body when he’s caught and admonished by the ghastly Judge Doom.

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Doom is played by Christopher Lloyd, with a stern stiffness that implies he is not a man to be swayed. He has no patience for silliness, but he loves dishing out a slow punishment.

“Since I’ve had Toontown under my jurisdiction, my goal has been to rein in the insanity, and the only way to do that is to make toons respect the law.”

To this end, Doom has built an impressive system of enforcement. First, he has the Toon Patrol: five mobbed-up, zoot-suited weasels who are also — naturally — skilled rabbit hunters. I love these guys.


In early scripts, there were seven weasels, so that the bad guys would appear as a dark parody of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. The five that remain post-edit are still memorable, though. They’re led by Sergeant Smartass, who’s voiced by none other than David Lander — yep, Squiggy — and he does a terrific job, with a high, drawling voice that spews malapropisms.

Then you’ve got Greasy, Wheezy, Psycho, and Stupid, characters who don’t say much, but who suffer little for it. My favorite is Psycho, the one with the straitjacket and the straight razor, not to mention the crazy eyes and the crazier laugh.

Doom’s other weapon is the deadly Dip — a hot cocktail of paint thinners traditionally used to clean animation cels — which he lords over the toons to keep them in line. According to Santino, the Dip is the only known way to kill a toon completely, and in a chilling moment that reminds us that Roger Rabbit is no Disneyland circle-jerk, Doom puts on a sadistic demonstration:

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“That’s one bad shoe, eh, boss?”

The message is clear: Judge Doom is champing at the bit to turn Roger into a fast-track execution. Yeah, nothing suspicious about that.

Now pardon me while I have a strange interlude, but the Dip raises a lot of questions about the nature of toon mortality. If a deep-dunk in Dip is the only way a toon can be killed, why are the toons always so afraid of guns in this movie? Wouldn’t a gunshot simply cover them with an easily-washed layer of soot? And what about death from laughter? In a desperate moment, this ironic method of passage saves Valiant’s life, so is death from laughter a official “second” way to kill a toon? A way that Santino didn’t know about?

Who knows. And here’s a better question: who cares? As with Zemeckis’s other film jewel, the Back to the Future series, we’re better off not delving too deeply into the logic. Let’s get back to the movie.

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Valiant returns to his office to find Roger waiting for him there. Roger insists that he’s innocent, but Valiant wants nothing to do with him. When the Toon Patrol arrives at his door, however, Valiant’s compassion wins out. Shootouts, bar fights, and car chases ensue.

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Pieces of the plot drift in thanks to Jessica, Roger’s co-star Baby Herman, and Valiant’s sometime girlfriend Dolores, and a beefy conspiracy starts to shape up: something involving the Los Angeles streetcar service, a mysterious corporation called Cloverleaf Industries, and the ownership of Toontown.

It nearly comes together when Valiant makes a play to get the truth out of Maroon, but the cartoon-maker gets smoked before he can talk, seemingly by Jessica!

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Valiant pursues Jessica, but she disappears into Toontown. Valiant hits the brakes, having frozen up at the prospect of returning to the place where his brother was killed.

Now, I apologize for this, but I need to pause in my synopsis so that I can explain something about the Ultimate Top Cartoons.

All of my favorite films have a Moment. Most of the Ultimate Top Cartoons have a few of these Moments, but don’t let that fool you: they are really very scarce.

What I’m describing is a Beautiful Moment, when every element of a particular shot, or series of shots, comes together in an absolutely perfect way. I detailed one of these moments in my recent review of Mister Magoo’s Christmas Carol. The Beautiful Moment never fails to choke me up and make me want to cry like a pup. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve already seen it, either.

Now, here’s the weird thing: while the Moment usually arrives at some critical or symbolic point in the plot, my admiration is always on a completely different level, usually a technical one. I’m not just marveling at the effect, I’m marveling at the creativity and the construction.

There are many Beautiful Moments in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, but this one’s my favorite: Valiant, thinking he’ll need some Dutch courage to head into Toontown, stops and has second thoughts. He dumps his bottle of Wild Turkey out on the street, and then, in a gesture of ultimate rejection, he heaves the empty bottle into the sky. Then he fires at it with his toon revolver, and…well, look.

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Now, that, folks…is FUCKING AWESOME.

I know it’s missing the audio that makes it complete, but look at it! Look, and consider everything that’s happening: the camera swoops into the sky, closes on the toon bullet as he eyes his target, and then pulls back again to allow the gracefully spinning whiskey bottle to enter frame from the right. Then the bullet, being a toon, doesn’t merely pass through the bottle, he disintegrates it in the most over-the-top way imaginable. How did they even conceptualize something like this? I…I need to go wash my face.

Anyway, Eddie’s visit to Toontown has to be one of the most surreal experiences in cinema. A YouTube commenter likened the Toontown tunnel to a DMT breakthrough, and he’s probably not far off.

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Everything in Toontown occurs like it’s part of some gigantic production. The inhabitants are constantly in action, playing out the same scenarios that are typically written for them. What’s more, toon logic applies to everything: if you bump your skull in Toontown, birdies will fly around your head. If you walk off a high ledge, you won’t fall until you look down. Your shadow will talk to you. Things like that.

Also, expect lots of cameos.

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Valiant eventually tracks Jessica into an alley, but she saves him from getting the Maroon treatment by shooting the real killer, Judge Doom. Through a few unfortunate accidents, Doom gets the drop on our heroes, and drags them all to the Acme factory so he can gloat about his master plan.

Turns out that Doom wants to possess Maroon Cartoons, the Acme Factory, and Toontown, so that he can level them all and construct the first Los Angeles freeway. Yeah, that’s the plan. I’m pretty sure it’s another joke on Chinatown, but the movie plays it pretty damn seriously, and it comes off as a  little confusing.

Thankfully, it’s just another one of those “who cares?” moments, because the rest of the film is insanity. Reviving his inner clown, Valiant exterminates the weasels one by one to the tune of “Merry Go-Round Broke Down.”

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Then he has to duke it out with Doom, who reveals himself to be the same demoniacal toon monster who killed Teddy!

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Well, it’s a partial revelation. Honestly, this is the weakest part of the movie, and I would have much preferred to see the full monster, but Lloyd does the best he can. I do like his buzzsaw arms and anvil hands, however.

I don’t think it’s much of a spoiler to say that all ends well, that everybody lives happily ever after, and that you’ll be ready to go do something else by the time the credits roll. If you look carefully, you’ll see a slight drop in the animation quality too, as though the artists themselves were exhausted by this point.

It is nice, however, to see the sudden convention of characters as they gawk at the disaster area that Acme’s factory has become. As they sing us off, there’s a pleasant shared goodbye from Tinkerbell and Porky Pig that always gives me a little chill. If only the studios would unite for crossovers like this more often!

So, to hear me tell it, Who Framed Roger Rabbit is a top-heavy film with a weak plot that runs out of steam by the end. But can anyone really fault it for that? It clearly wasn’t made for deep critical analysis. It was made to celebrate the Golden Age of Animation, to introduce us to a new cast of cartoon characters with a slightly dark edge, and to give our imaginations a jolt by offering an alternate viewpoint on beloved animated worlds. Sure, it took an army of artists and technicians to make it happen, and not all of it looks great anymore, but the terrific performances, wild soundtrack, and bold direction make Roger Rabbit a one-of-a-kind wonder.

A coda: I’ve read some reviews online that berate this movie for portraying classic cartoon characters in an “inappropriate” way. I’m not talking about Baby Herman slapping ladies on the ass, either. I’m talking little things, like, “Donald Duck would never use a cannon on someone like that!”

I find this humorous, because anyone who would seriously make a claim like this must have difficulty separating fantasy from reality, and you’d think a person like that would rather buy into the movie where fantasy and reality collide believably!

Top Cartoons: Disney’s Pinocchio

Can you believe they did this shit in 1940? Now, I’m not a big fan of Disney animation, but there’s something about Pinocchio that astounds me. Whenever I see it, I have to stop and sit and watch, and keep watching it through to the end.


I’ll say up front that it’s not the plot that mesmerizes me, as it’s pretty shallow. It’s a series of primary lessons about the dangers of the world and the importance of family, but the threads never entwine or resolve in a satisfying way. Pinocchio only escapes his troubles through luck, and the villains never receive a comeuppance; they simply vanish, to remain as hidden threats forever. The message is actually pretty bleak: beware, children, beware.


The protagonists don’t interest me much, either. Pinocchio is believably innocent, but the saccharine sweetness of Jiminy, Gepetto, and the pets galls me. Of course, I understand that fairy tale characters aren’t known for their depth, but it would’ve been cool to see at least a hint of it somewhere. The closest the movie comes is in Jiminy’s appearance in the opening scenes: he’s obviously had some hard luck despite his good nature. This is why I think Finding Nemo is Pixar’s finest film, and one of the best animated films of all time: the hero Marlin has scars that are never fully defined, but that are recognizable nonetheless.


No no, what amazes me about this movie is the unbelievable skill on display. The backgrounds, the design, the ANIMATION. Good Lord, the animation is amazing. I’m not just talking about the silky smoothness of it, either; I’m talking about the creative expression that went into it. Gepetto’s hands manipulate the marionette handles correctly. Stromboli’s puppets jerk and swing the way one would expect them to. Liquids of all kinds leak and splash and drip with tremendous detail.


There’s no laziness in Pinocchio’s animation, no shortcuts taken to save time or money in production. You can see that every movement was agonized over. Even Pinocchio’s run dazzles me. I could just sit and watch him run for hours, studying and marveling. This movie is seventy-five fucking years old. How the hell did they master these principles with such artistic flourish when feature-length animation was still so young? It makes me feel inadequate as an animator.


Now, I realize that Walt Disney Studios put twenty-two professional animators and eight animation directors to work on this film (one of them the great Preston Blair), so measuring my one-man productions against Pinocchio is completely unfair. Still, I have the advantage of technology on my side, while Disney’s artists had only pencils and paintbrushes. Watching Pinocchio makes me realize just how much I have left to learn, and right now, it looks like a pretty steep mountain.

Witch Hazel vs. Witch Hazel

Trick or Treat


Broom-Stick Bunny

(Embedding doesn’t seem to work with this one 😦 Please click the link to watch.)

Here’s a good example of why I prefer Warner Bros. cartoons over Disney ones. These two cartoons both feature the phenomenal June Foray as a Halloween witch, one good, and one not-so-good.

The first cartoon is another Donald Duck comeuppance, and it has a generally kind, kid-friendly tone. The Witch Hazel in Trick or Treat is a happy-go-lucky sort who admires the costumes of Huey, Dewey, and Louie, and despises Donald’s stinginess and pranks. She helps the boys take revenge in a very unusual manner. There’s an impressive explosion when she prepares her brew, but overall there’s not a whole lot of excitement in the episode. It’s just a happy, bouncy jaunt, very much like its soft and snappy theme song. It’s all very professionally packaged, with no sharp edges to cut yourself on. John Kricfalusi calls Disney animation “feminine,” and this cartoon certainly feels that way.

Broom-Stick Bunny, on the other hand, is something else. It’s balls-out zaniness, from its crooked, technicolor backgrounds to its witty and perfectly delivered dialogue. Of course, it’s a Chuck Jones joint, so what else would you expect?

Jones’s Witch Hazel is much more than just a cheerful old potion-maker. Foray puts on a tour-de-force performance here, expressing joy, vanity, insecurity, giddiness, impatience, jealousy, and despair all in the space of seven minutes. Feminists might balk at the characterization, but everyone else will find her hilarious. It’s hard not to like a villain like this, who sings sweetly to herself, leaves clouds of hairpins in her wake, and is always on the edge of a real belly-laugh. Of course, Mel Blanc is terrific too, as both Bugs and the bored-looking genie in the mirror, but this is really Hazel’s show.

My absolute favorite moment in the cartoon is when Hazel reveals her intent to add Bugs to her brew, and the two characters collide with a brilliant musical sting:


I love the lines here! Hazel is so far up in Bugs’s grill that he should tip over. The rigid poses are perfect for the tense situation. Best of all, though, is Hazel’s face! Instead of the expected expression of open hostility, she wears one of hardly-contained glee, and it fits perfectly with her character.

Comparing these two Witch Hazel adventures on a purely technical level, I’d say that Disney comes out looking like the superior studio. Broom-Stick Bunny looks rough and simple when put next to the silky-smooth, always-on-model motion of Trick or Treat. But where Disney is the faultless father, Warner Bros. is the fun uncle, and Broom-Stick is the cartoon I’d rather watch. It’s wonderfully written, creatively designed, and tremendously voiced. It also ends with one of the funniest twists in cartoon history. No one does cartoon comedy like Chuck Jones, and this is one of the crown jewels in his body of work.

Top Cartoons: Modern Inventions


I can’t say that I’m a huge Disney fan. I enjoy their cartoons, especially their classic ones, but I don’t seek them out generally. I’m more of a Warner Bros. guy. I do like cartoons about machines running amok, though, and when I first saw this one as a kid, it really stuck with me. It stuck so closely, in fact, that it helped to inspire No-Luck Nora. I particularly like the sadistic barber chair at the finale. Very creative stuff, and wonderfully realized, as is to be expected from Disney.

Of course, the major difference between Disney’s cartoon and mine is that Donald Duck invites trouble, and is ineffectual against the tormenting machinery, while Nora is innocent, and fights back. Also, Disney’s cartoon is beautifully animated, while mine is a bit rough. Still, I’m sure that will change once I hit it rich and can afford to hire some staff 🙂

Top Cartoons: Gummi Bears – The Oracle


Disney’s Adventures of the Gummi Bears was an improbable concept that turned out to be quite magical. It was about a small group of anthropomorphic bears who live underground in a high fantasy land of magic and monsters. They possess unique secrets and technology that is coveted by humans, so they live a provincial, hidden existence, coming above ground only to forage. As with all good cartoons, the success of the show didn’t spring from the premise, but from the delightful ensemble of characters. The bears were each unique in look and personality, and while they had a lot of problems from outsiders, particularly the sinister Duke Igthorn, many episodes centered on their inner, familial clashes.

The cast of the show is a veritable “who’s who” of classic cartoon voice actors. It includes Paul Winchell, June Foray, Lorenzo Music, and the lesser-known Michael Rye, who voices both Igthorn and the good King Gregor with magnificent, unforgettable aplomb.

While the show features a few youthful characters to appeal to the kiddie audience, I found that I enjoyed the grown-ups the most. In fact, I found Cubbi and Sunni, the kid bears that I should have related to, a little annoying.

What’s interesting, though, is that my absolute favorite character is the bear who is neither young nor old, but someplace mysteriously in-between: Tummi.

Tummi Gummi is a neutral zone. He doesn’t voice any strong opinions, and tends to go along with whoever calls for his help. Most of the time he just wants to stay out of the way and indulge his passions, which include food and model ship-building, but mostly food. He is slow in movement and speech, but he can be quick-witted and cunning when it counts. He’s a young adult who hasn’t quite matured or figured out where he fits in the world, but he loves his adoptive family and would do anything for them.

This episode, The Oracle, is Tummi-centric, and one of my favorite cartoons of all time. Not only is it well-animated, well-acted, and well-directed, it’s extremely funny, and has lots of clever twists. My only nitpick is that I’m not sure that Tummi learns anything from his little adventure. It’s not a big deal, though, as a lack of resolution is a common problem with short cartoons. It really doesn’t matter anyway. The Oracle stands out to me as a perfect example of good-natured, humorous writing combined with skilled art.